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tickets non moving violations wills trusts estate planning probate personal representatives elder law powers attorney living wills open technical issues linkback thread tools rate thread display modes ryansteele junior member date dec posts best way survive appearance court name state law cali hi awhile password hand ready poke hope finding valuable divorce war year gets posts reply thanks advance court tomorrow morning custody hearing possibly support hearing afternoon convinced ex stuck neck far time judgement issued october followed support hearing year resulting payments ex payments lasted months time enforced custody rights payments stopped ex wife responded enforcement campaign harassment police reports nights ex picked daughter activities parties took back house violation custody schedule rights harassment daughter custody constant phone calls checking times abusive messages resulted visit local police calls ex saying extremely worried safety daughter stating idea daughter daughter bed mins officers asked talk realised left asked file kind report produce court want involved mess negative effect year old daughter finished year high school straight summer school required ex offered daughter stay week period school way office way daughter dolled expensive clothes cruise school bmw ride motorcycle old cool problem daughter embarassed ride week period ex arranged drop daughter house show routine folded weeks slide enforcing custody trick revealed middle moving heard lady looking week served papers modification custody followed support hearing lady served charming old girl little laugh moving house house evade said goodbye said good luck one exaggerated jaw drop faces said glanced fl stopped traffic red lights imagine kind maniac person read contents believe false distorted image way ex statements easily rebutted bigger problem mention major change circumstances warrant change granted ex says wants legal physical custody month sorry amount info think cut chase serious thinking weighty decisions near future driven performance daughter returns school right want appear hearing see judge deny changes basis having said court appearances emotionally distressing feel horrifying prospect things going terribly wrong blink eye obviously represented attorney interest suzuki way skate honesty best policy simply answer obvious questions hope judge likes gigantic hole road ahead waiting swallow based second episode allowing take custody sponsored proserpina senior member date mar location weigh pie posts quote originally posted ryansteele name state law cali judgement issued october followed support hearing year resulting payments ex payments lasted months time enforced custody rights payments stopped stopped court quote ex wife responded enforcement campaign harassment police reports nights ex picked daughter activities parties took back house violation custody schedule rights custody order address quote harassment daughter custody constant phone calls checking times abusive messages resulted visit local police calls ex saying extremely worried safety daughter stating idea daughter daughter bed mins officers asked talk realised left asked file kind report produce court want involved prove mom genuinely concerned quote mess negative effect year old daughter finished year high school straight custodial parent going bear lot blame blame apportioned quote summer school required ex offered daughter stay week period school way office way daughter dolled expensive clothes cruise school bmw ride motorcycle old cool problem daughter embarassed ride relevant quote week period ex arranged drop daughter house show routine folded weeks slide enforcing custody choice allow quote trick revealed middle moving heard lady looking week served papers modification custody followed support hearing lady served charming old girl little laugh moving house house evade said goodbye said good luck one exaggerated jaw drop faces said glanced fl stopped traffic red lights imagine kind maniac person read contents believe false distorted image way ex statements easily rebutted bigger problem mention major change circumstances warrant change granted ex says wants legal physical custody month mom allowed file custody child support nature allegations quote sorry amount info think cut chase serious thinking weighty decisions near future driven performance daughter returns school right want appear hearing see judge deny changes basis possibly comment tell ex alleging justifying modification quote having said court appearances emotionally distressing feel horrifying prospect things going terribly wrong blink eye obviously represented attorney interest suzuki way skate honesty best policy simply answer obvious questions hope judge likes gigantic hole road ahead waiting swallow based second episode allowing take custody guess result need know exactly mom saying intend prove disprove points course honesty best policy quote courage trust love time time maya angelou whinery serve cheese quote respects hit hits respect anon family law attorney ryansteele junior member date dec posts thanks happened thanks basics joint custody final judgment oct mom continues rage dad absolutely regard mom filed show cause paperwork listing untrue statements regarding live non payment legitimate expenses lack communication bad parenting asked full custody physical month great deal statements contradictory vague simply personal opinions contents considered major change needed alter original judgement example answers phone fact called june daughter call talks blocked numbers mine calling months including systematically blocking girlfriends number daughters numbers point call daughters friends ask call daughter call uncomfortable calls yesterday told daughter going allow anymore fair immediately agreed example just learned moved miles away side town live high school daughter school time wanted going watch work hours day finish fact yahoo maps printout moved miles situated slap bang middle community regional boundaries allow daughter attend high school mom moved miles away border town outside regional boundaries daughters best interests award custody mom daughter kicked high school basically attacks core needs daughter school friends possibly neighborhood relevant thing note come learn basically narcissist come conceited arrogant right attacked tend adopt attitude says bring matter got hurt ultimately spiritually right try hurt laugh ignorance due damaging effect intend fix personal trait yesterday court sent immediately mediation mom requested separate sessions goes mins mediator said sending back court judge call long repeated things told worry asked compliance original judgment thing input mediator talked attorney daughter dropped idea returning court judge quickly stated unfortunately able settle mediation required little time ordered return weeks additional responses posted questions payments stopped court initially ordered return months able show custody climbing despite fact mom took opportunity things difficult police reports harassment started shortly write imaginary light bulb head illuminates clear money interestingly mom done corporate world income increased dramatically judge note calling special ruling awarding support ouch hurt bit lol mom genuinely concerned daughters safety night tried create problem police parent knows horrible feeling mind call friend number got drive town erratically sat outside townhouse waiting police arrive hoping daughter chance happened daughter turned phone bad stand constant calls anymore blame asked police file kind report trespassing harassment wasting police time just long documented officer charge told expression face told controlling anger pissed best left moment time hope answers questions thank input looking forward comments casual critical invaluable keep posted develops stay tuned sep rd episode monster black lagoon underestimated ex got clock cleaned cheers steve family law attorney proserpina senior member date mar location weigh pie posts quote originally posted ryansteele thanks basics joint custody final judgment oct mom continues rage dad absolutely regard alas uncommon quote great deal statements contradictory vague simply personal opinions contents considered major change needed alter original judgement example answers phone fact called june daughter call talks blocked numbers mine calling months including systematically blocking girlfriends number daughters numbers point call daughters friends ask call daughter call uncomfortable calls yesterday told daughter going allow anymore fair immediately agreed buying daughter cheap pre paid cell phone solve easily quote example just learned moved miles away side town live high school daughter school time wanted going watch work hours day finish fact yahoo maps printout moved miles situated slap bang middle community regional boundaries allow daughter attend high school mom moved miles away border town outside regional boundaries daughters best interests award custody mom daughter kicked high school basically attacks core needs daughter school friends possibly neighborhood miles away mom unreasonable quote relevant thing note come learn basically narcissist come conceited arrogant right attacked tend adopt attitude says bring matter got hurt ultimately spiritually right try hurt laugh ignorance due damaging effect intend fix personal trait okay appears slight case irrelevant itis quote yesterday court sent immediately mediation mom requested separate sessions goes mins mediator said sending back court judge call long repeated things told worry asked compliance original judgment thing input mediator talked attorney daughter dropped idea request gal guardian litem person attorney advocates child quote returning court judge quickly stated unfortunately able settle mediation required little time ordered return weeks ducks lined order quote additional responses posted questions payments stopped court good concerned quote initially ordered return months able show custody climbing despite fact mom took opportunity things difficult police reports harassment started shortly write imaginary light bulb head illuminates clear money interestingly mom done corporate world income increased dramatically judge note calling special ruling awarding support ouch hurt bit lol entirely sure going convinced mom guilty harassment quote mom genuinely concerned daughters safety night tried create problem police parent knows horrible feeling mind call friend number got drive town erratically hold conclude mom genuinely concerned based paragraph people respond differently stressors feasible coping mechanism lack thereof whichever appropriate simply different quote sat outside townhouse waiting police arrive hoping daughter chance happened daughter turned phone bad stand constant calls anymore blame chance favor concerned reach daughter reassured started panic see going quote asked police file kind report trespassing harassment wasting police time just long documented officer charge told expression face told controlling anger pissed best left moment time hold way know officer feeling assume perception may accurate wanting formal complaint see charges pressed really seriously reaching point moot anyway quote hope answers questions thank input looking forward comments casual critical invaluable keep posted develops stay tuned sep rd episode monster black lagoon underestimated ex got clock cleaned ok bonus points tempted bill cost paper towels snorkling cola monitor quote courage trust love time time maya angelou whinery serve cheese quote respects hit hits respect anon family law attorney ryansteele junior member date dec posts thanks great comments hi thanks generous amount interest single comment helps read hear voice poster see looks outside definitely need advice head court regarding ask may silly think good case optomistic core issue family correct disastrous start daughter high school daughter capable good grades going college year got straight kicked cheerleading squad missing assignments refusing suit gym beat bush please believe tell mom put daughter cheerleading team mom gets best clothes expensive stores mom incapable helping assignments moms strategy dealing problems loud abusive conflict daughters best chance improvement work one means weekends mom mom active social life agree tried appreciate ideas advice gladly elaborate detail needed cheers family law attorney ldij senior member date may posts quote originally posted ryansteele hi thanks generous amount interest single comment helps read hear voice poster see looks outside definitely need advice head court regarding ask may silly think good case optomistic core issue family correct disastrous start daughter high school daughter capable good grades going college year got straight kicked cheerleading squad missing assignments refusing suit gym beat bush please believe tell mom put daughter cheerleading team mom gets best clothes expensive stores mom incapable helping assignments moms strategy dealing problems loud abusive conflict daughters best chance improvement work one means weekends mom mom active social life agree tried appreciate ideas advice gladly elaborate detail needed cheers dad time daughter got straight fs just fault direct proof daughter homework turned assignments time argument child spend week weekends mom glad admit narcissitic come way you plot absolutely court need focus clearly believe best interest solid reasons proof take sounds result custody maintained strictly enforce parenting time vino veritas family law attorney stealth senior member date may posts quote originally posted ryansteele core issue family correct disastrous start daughter high school daughter capable good grades going college year got straight kicked cheerleading squad missing assignments refusing suit gym beat bush please believe tell mom put daughter cheerleading team mom gets best clothes expensive stores mom incapable helping assignments moms strategy dealing problems loud abusive conflict daughters best chance improvement work one means weekends mom mom active social life agree tried daughter capable getting good grades sitting one going solve problem btdt her work hand dress oldest bright pulled handing homework card time saving grace know subject matter ace tests studying rode years year junior stopped painful knew important year wrt college man wake call missing assignments left grades proud saving grace tests weighting ap classes learned lesson far showing lot responsibility summer work regular classwork serious organized doing work having mention best thanked letting learn hard way strategy may want daughter talk future plans aspirations classes stuff interest simply realize importance grades knows wants may figure needs children coloring books fill favorite colors kite runner khaled hosseini repugnant favorite word family 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Best way to survive an appearance in court Free Advice Law Advice Insurance Advice Community Register FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read FreeAdvice Legal Forum gt FAMILY LAW gt Marriage Domestic Partnerships and Other Family Law Matters Best way to survive an appearance in court User Name Remember Me Password Select a Forum to Post a Question Auto Accidents and Vehicle Claims Dangerous or Defective Products Medical and Health Care Malpractice Environmental Toxic Torts Workplace Injuries Worker’s Compensation Other Personal Injury and Wrongful Death Consumer Bankruptcy Business Bankruptcy Banking Credit Cards Debt Collections Starting and Operating a Business Business Contracts and Franchises Brokers Investments Sports Arts Entertainment Law Consumer Contracts Guarantees and Warranties Lemon Law Online Purchases and Sales Libel Slander Defamation Legal Ethics Lawyer Malpractice Civil Litigation Small Claims Courts Arrests Searches Warrants Procedure Drug Charges Drunk 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Issues Condos and Co Ops Construction Renovation Mortgages Refinancing Foreclosure Neighbors Boundaries Other Real Estate Law Questions Tax Law Drunk Driving Speeding and Other Moving Violations Parking Tickets and Non Moving Violations Wills Trusts and Estate Planning Probate and Personal Representatives Elder Law Powers of Attorney Living Wills Open TECHNICAL Issues ONLY LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes AM RYANSTEELE Junior Member Join Date Dec Posts Best way to survive an appearance in court What is the name of your state only U S law Cali Hi anyone It's been awhile but here I am again new password in hand and ready to poke around in the hope of finding something valuable to use in my divorce war year If anyone gets this and posts a reply thanks in advance I will be in court tomorrow morning for a custody hearing and possibly support hearing in the afternoon I am convinced that my ex has stuck her neck out too far this time Our judgement was issued in October It was followed by a support hearing a year later resulting in payments to my ex The payments lasted months during which time I enforced my custody rights and the payments stopped My ex wife responded to the enforcement with a campaign of harassment I have police reports from nights when my ex picked our daughter up from activities parties and took her back to her house in violation of the custody schedule and my rights Her harassment of our daughter and myself during my custody constant phone calls checking times abusive text messages to me resulted in a visit to my home by the local police after calls from my ex saying she was extremely worried about the safety of her daughter and stating that I had no idea where our daughter was Our daughter had been in bed for about mins but the officers asked to talk to her and after they realised everything was O K they left I asked them to file some kind of a report that I could produce in court but they didn't want to get involved This mess has had a negative effect on our year old daughter and she finished her first year of high school with straight F's Summer school was required and my ex offered to let our daughter stay with her for the week period because the school was on the way to her office That way our daughter could get dolled up with her expensive clothes and cruise to school in the new BMW I ride a motorcycle an old one not a cool one and although it was no problem in the beginning now my daughter is embarassed to ride with me During the week period my ex arranged to drop our daughter off at my house but did the no show routine again and I folded and let the weeks slide by without enforcing my custody THEN THE TRICK WAS REVEALED I was in the middle of moving when I heard that a lady was looking for me and a week later I was served papers for a modification of custody followed by support hearing The lady that served me was a charming old girl and after we had a little laugh about me moving from house to house to evade her she said goodbye then she said and good luck with that one and made one of those exaggerated jaw drop faces She said she had glanced through the FL when she was stopped in traffic or red lights and she could only imagine what kind of a maniac this person was When I read the contents I could not believe it myself Almost everything is false it is the distorted image of the way my ex see's me The statements can be easily rebutted but there is a bigger problem because there is no mention of a major change in circumstances that would warrant the change being granted My ex says she wants to legal and physical custody and a month Sorry for the amount of info but I think I can cut to the chase now I have some serious thinking and some weighty decisions to make in the near future and it will be driven by the performance of our daughter when she returns to school but right now I want to appear for the hearing and see the judge deny the changes because there is no basis for it Having said that I always find court appearances very emotionally distressing and feel that there is always the horrifying prospect of things going terribly wrong in a blink of an eye obviously I am not represented by an attorney I couldn't find one that had any interest in a ' Suzuki Is there a way to skate through Is honesty the best policy Can I simply answer the obvious questions and hope that the judge likes me And is there a gigantic hole in the road ahead waiting to swallow me up based on the second episode of me allowing her to take over all of the custody Sponsored ad PM Proserpina Senior Member Join Date Mar Location Weigh a pie Posts Quote Originally Posted by RYANSTEELE What is the name of your state only U S law Cali Our judgement was issued in October It was followed by a support hearing a year later resulting in payments to my ex The payments lasted months during which time I enforced my custody rights and the payments stopped Stopped by the court yes Quote My ex wife responded to the enforcement with a campaign of harassment I have police reports from nights when my ex picked our daughter up from activities parties and took her back to her house in violation of the custody schedule and my rights What does your custody order actually address Quote Her harassment of our daughter and myself during my custody constant phone calls checking times abusive text messages to me resulted in a visit to my home by the local police after calls from my ex saying she was extremely worried about the safety of her daughter and stating that I had no idea where our daughter was Our daughter had been in bed for about mins but the officers asked to talk to her and after they realised everything was O K they left I asked them to file some kind of a report that I could produce in court but they didn't want to get involved Can you prove that Mom wasn't genuinely concerned Quote This mess has had a negative effect on our year old daughter and she finished her first year of high school with straight F's The custodial parent is going to bear a lot of the blame for this one should blame be apportioned Quote Summer school was required and my ex offered to let our daughter stay with her for the week period because the school was on the way to her office That way our daughter could get dolled up with her expensive clothes and cruise to school in the new BMW I ride a motorcycle an old one not a cool one and although it was no problem in the beginning now my daughter is embarassed to ride with me Not relevant Quote During the week period my ex arranged to drop our daughter off at my house but did the no show routine again and I folded and let the weeks slide by without enforcing my custody Your choice you did not have to allow that Quote THEN THE TRICK WAS REVEALED I was in the middle of moving when I heard that a lady was looking for me and a week later I was served papers for a modification of custody followed by support hearing The lady that served me was a charming old girl and after we had a little laugh about me moving from house to house to evade her she said goodbye then she said and good luck with that one and made one of those exaggerated jaw drop faces She said she had glanced through the FL when she was stopped in traffic or red lights and she could only imagine what kind of a maniac this person was When I read the contents I could not believe it myself Almost everything is false it is the distorted image of the way my ex see's me The statements can be easily rebutted but there is a bigger problem because there is no mention of a major change in circumstances that would warrant the change being granted My ex says she wants to legal and physical custody and a month Mom is allowed to file for custody and child support What's the nature of the allegations Quote Sorry for the amount of info but I think I can cut to the chase now I have some serious thinking and some weighty decisions to make in the near future and it will be driven by the performance of our daughter when she returns to school but right now I want to appear for the hearing and see the judge deny the changes because there is no basis for it No one can possibly comment unless you actually tell us what your ex is alleging and how she is justifying modification Quote Having said that I always find court appearances very emotionally distressing and feel that there is always the horrifying prospect of things going terribly wrong in a blink of an eye obviously I am not represented by an attorney I couldn't find one that had any interest in a ' Suzuki Is there a way to skate through Is honesty the best policy Can I simply answer the obvious questions and hope that the judge likes me And is there a gigantic hole in the road ahead waiting to swallow me up based on the second episode of me allowing her to take over all of the custody Again nobody can guess the result we need to know what exactly Mom is saying and how she and you intend to prove and disprove the points and yes of course honesty is the best policy Quote Have enough courage to trust love one more time And always one more time Maya Angelou This is not a whinery and we do not serve cheese Quote Someone who respects you will never hit you and someone who hits you will never respect you Anon Find a Family Law Attorney PM RYANSTEELE Junior Member Join Date Dec Posts Thanks and here's what happened Thanks Basics We have a joint custody FINAL judgment Oct Mom continues to rage against Dad with absolutely no regard for anything else Mom filed show cause paperwork listing untrue statements regarding where I live non payment of legitimate expenses lack of communication bad parenting etc She asked for full custody physical to and a month A great deal of her statements were contradictory vague and simply personal opinions None of the contents could be considered the major change needed to alter the original judgement Example He never answers his phone Fact She has not called me since June She has our daughter call me and talks to her She has blocked any numbers of mine from calling her sometimes for up to months including systematically blocking my girlfriends number her daughters numbers etc to the point where I had to call our daughters friends and ask them to call our daughter and get her to call me I am very uncomfortable with these calls and yesterday told our daughter that I wasn't going to allow this anymore because it wasn't fair to her She immediately agreed Example I just learned he has moved over miles away to the other side of town he used to live across from the high school and my daughter could go over there after school any time she wanted WHO'S GOING TO WATCH HER NOW I work nine hours a day and I don't finish until pm Fact Yahoo maps com printout Moved miles Now situated slap bang in the middle of the community and STILL WITHIN the regional boundaries that allow our daughter to attend her High School Mom moved about miles away and across the border into the next town OUTSIDE the regional boundaries How can it be in our daughters best interests to award custody to Mom then have our daughter kicked out of her High School It basically attacks the core needs of our daughter her school her friends and possibly her neighborhood Relevant thing to note I have come to learn that I am basically a narcissist and can often come across as conceited and arrogant When in the right and attacked as above I tend to adopt an attitude that says bring it on no matter what you've got you can't hurt me I am ultimately spiritually in the right so try to hurt me while I laugh at your ignorance Due to the damaging effect on me and those around me I intend to fix this personal trait Yesterday in court Sent immediately to mediation Mom requested separate sessions and goes first In less than mins I had with the mediator she said she was sending us back to court the judge would make the call and as long as I repeated the things I had told her there was nothing to worry about I asked for compliance with the original judgment One thing I would l like input on is this the mediator first talked about an attorney ONLY for our daughter but it seemed like she dropped that idea On returning to court the judge quickly stated that unfortunately we weren't able to settle this in mediation this required a little more time ordered to return in weeks Additional responses to posted questions The payments were stopped by the court We were initially ordered to return months later and I was able to show custody and climbing despite the fact that Mom still took any opportunity to make things difficult The police reports and the harassment started shortly after that as I write this the imaginary light bulb above my head illuminates and once again it's so clear that it's all about the money Interestingly Mom has done well in the corporate world and her income has increased dramatically the judge made note that he was calling a special ruling and not awarding support to me ouch didn't hurt a bit do it again LOL Mom was not genuinely concerned about our daughters safety on the night she tried to create the problem with the police Every parent knows that horrible feeling you go out of your mind you call every friend who's number you ever got you drive all over town erratically from one end to the other she sat outside my townhouse waiting for the police to arrive hoping that our daughter wasn't home yet there was a chance this could have happened our daughter had turned her phone off bad when she couldn't stand the constant calls anymore can you blame her I asked the police to file some kind of report for trespassing harassment wasting police time or anything just as long as it was documented but the officer in charge told me there was nothing he could do while the expression on his face told me he was controlling his anger he was pissed best left alone at that moment in time I hope this answers some of your questions Thank you so much for your input I am looking forward to any comments casual critical or invaluable and I will keep all of you posted on how this all develops Stay tuned for Sep rd and the next episode of The Monster from the Black Lagoon or How I underestimated my ex and got my clock cleaned Cheers Steve Find a Family Law Attorney PM Proserpina Senior Member Join Date Mar Location Weigh a pie Posts Quote Originally Posted by RYANSTEELE Thanks Basics We have a joint custody FINAL judgment Oct Mom continues to rage against Dad with absolutely no regard for anything else Alas not uncommon Quote A great deal of her statements were contradictory vague and simply personal opinions None of the contents could be considered the major change needed to alter the original judgement Example He never answers his phone Fact She has not called me since June She has our daughter call me and talks to her She has blocked any numbers of mine from calling her sometimes for up to months including systematically blocking my girlfriends number her daughters numbers etc to the point where I had to call our daughters friends and ask them to call our daughter and get her to call me I am very uncomfortable with these calls and yesterday told our daughter that I wasn't going to allow this anymore because it wasn't fair to her She immediately agreed Buying daughter a cheap pre paid cell phone would solve this one very easily Quote Example I just learned he has moved over miles away to the other side of town he used to live across from the high school and my daughter could go over there after school any time she wanted WHO'S GOING TO WATCH HER NOW I work nine hours a day and I don't finish until pm Fact Yahoo maps com printout Moved miles Now situated slap bang in the middle of the community and STILL WITHIN the regional boundaries that allow our daughter to attend her High School Mom moved about miles away and across the border into the next town OUTSIDE the regional boundaries How can it be in our daughters best interests to award custody to Mom then have our daughter kicked out of her High School It basically attacks the core needs of our daughter her school her friends and possibly her neighborhood Even if it is miles away Mom is being unreasonable here Quote Relevant thing to note I have come to learn that I am basically a narcissist and can often come across as conceited and arrogant When in the right and attacked as above I tend to adopt an attitude that says bring it on no matter what you've got you can't hurt me I am ultimately spiritually in the right so try to hurt me while I laugh at your ignorance Due to the damaging effect on me and those around me I intend to fix this personal trait Um okay there also appears to be a slight case of irrelevant itis Quote Yesterday in court Sent immediately to mediation Mom requested separate sessions and goes first In less than mins I had with the mediator she said she was sending us back to court the judge would make the call and as long as I repeated the things I had told her there was nothing to worry about I asked for compliance with the original judgment One thing I would l like input on is this the mediator first talked about an attorney ONLY for our daughter but it seemed like she dropped that idea You can still request a GAL guardian ad litem a person often an attorney who advocates for the child Quote On returning to court the judge quickly stated that unfortunately we weren't able to settle this in mediation this required a little more time ordered to return in weeks Get your ducks lined up and in order Quote Additional responses to posted questions The payments were stopped by the court Good I was concerned about that one Quote We were initially ordered to return months later and I was able to show custody and climbing despite the fact that Mom still took any opportunity to make things difficult The police reports and the harassment started shortly after that as I write this the imaginary light bulb above my head illuminates and once again it's so clear that it's all about the money Interestingly Mom has done well in the corporate world and her income has increased dramatically the judge made note that he was calling a special ruling and not awarding support to me ouch didn't hurt a bit do it again LOL Not entirely sure where you're going with this one I'm not convinced Mom is actually guilty of harassment Quote Mom was not genuinely concerned about our daughters safety on the night she tried to create the problem with the police Every parent knows that horrible feeling you go out of your mind you call every friend who's number you ever got you drive all over town erratically from one end to the other Hold it You can't conclude that Mom wasn't genuinely concerned based on this paragraph people do respond differently to stressors and it's more than feasible that Mom's coping mechanism or lack thereof whichever is more appropriate is simply different to yours Quote she sat outside my townhouse waiting for the police to arrive hoping that our daughter wasn't home yet there was a chance this could have happened our daughter had turned her phone off bad when she couldn't stand the constant calls anymore can you blame her There is a chance this could actually be in Mom's favor she was very concerned couldn't reach daughter to be reassured and started to panic see where I'm going with this Quote I asked the police to file some kind of report for trespassing harassment wasting police time or anything just as long as it was documented but the officer in charge told me there was nothing he could do while the expression on his face told me he was controlling his anger he was pissed best left alone at that moment in time Hold it once more There is no way you can know what the officer was feeling you can assume yes but your perception may not be accurate As for you wanting to make a formal complaint or see that charges are pressed you're really seriously reaching but the point is moot anyway Quote I hope this answers some of your questions Thank you so much for your input I am looking forward to any comments casual critical or invaluable and I will keep all of you posted on how this all develops Stay tuned for Sep rd and the next episode of The Monster from the Black Lagoon or How I underestimated my ex and got my clock cleaned OK you do get bonus points for that one though I'm tempted to bill you for the cost of the paper towels I had to use after snorkling cola all over the monitor Quote Have enough courage to trust love one more time And always one more time Maya Angelou This is not a whinery and we do not serve cheese Quote Someone who respects you will never hit you and someone who hits you will never respect you Anon Find a Family Law Attorney AM RYANSTEELE Junior Member Join Date Dec Posts Many thanks to all for great comments Hi and thanks for the generous amount of interest Every single comment helps me When I read them I hear the voice of the poster and then I can see what it looks like to them from the outside I definitely need advice before I head in to court on regarding what to ask for It may be silly to think that I have a good case but I am optomistic The core issue for me well all of us the family is how to correct the disastrous start our daughter had in High School Our daughter is capable of good grades and going on to college but last year she got straight F's and was kicked of the cheerleading squad because of missing assignments and refusing to suit up for gym I won't beat around the bush here so please believe me when I tell you that Mom put our daughter on the cheerleading team Mom gets her the best clothes from the most expensive stores Mom is almost incapable of helping with assignments Moms strategy for dealing with problems is loud abusive conflict Our daughters best chance for improvement is to work one on one with me which means weekends with Mom Mom has an active social life and will not agree to this at all I tried I appreciate any ideas or advice and will gladly elaborate in detail if needed Cheers Find a Family Law Attorney PM LdiJ Senior Member Join Date May Posts Quote Originally Posted by RYANSTEELE Hi and thanks for the generous amount of interest Every single comment helps me When I read them I hear the voice of the poster and then I can see what it looks like to them from the outside I definitely need advice before I head in to court on regarding what to ask for It may be silly to think that I have a good case but I am optomistic The core issue for me well all of us the family is how to correct the disastrous start our daughter had in High School Our daughter is capable of good grades and going on to college but last year she got straight F's and was kicked of the cheerleading squad because of missing assignments and refusing to suit up for gym I won't beat around the bush here so please believe me when I tell you that Mom put our daughter on the cheerleading team Mom gets her the best clothes from the most expensive stores Mom is almost incapable of helping with assignments Moms strategy for dealing with problems is loud abusive conflict Our daughters best chance for improvement is to work one on one with me which means weekends with Mom Mom has an active social life and will not agree to this at all I tried I appreciate any ideas or advice and will gladly elaborate in detail if needed Cheers Dad if you have time and your daughter got straight Fs its just as much your fault as mom's Unless you have direct proof that your daughter always did her homework and turned in her assignments on your time but didn't on mom's you will get no where with the argument that the child should spend the week with you and weekends with mom I am glad that you admit that you are narcissitic because you do come across that way You make everything about you and everything a plot against you That will absolutely not help you in court You need to focus clearly on what you believe is in your child's best interest and solid reasons proof why and take it from there It sounds to me like the end result should be that custody is maintained and that you strictly enforce your parenting time in vino veritas Find a Family Law Attorney PM stealth Senior Member Join Date May Posts Quote Originally Posted by RYANSTEELE The core issue for me well all of us the family is how to correct the disastrous start our daughter had in High School Our daughter is capable of good grades and going on to college but last year she got straight F's and was kicked of the cheerleading squad because of missing assignments and refusing to suit up for gym I won't beat around the bush here so please believe me when I tell you that Mom put our daughter on the cheerleading team Mom gets her the best clothes from the most expensive stores Mom is almost incapable of helping with assignments Moms strategy for dealing with problems is loud abusive conflict Our daughters best chance for improvement is to work one on one with me which means weekends with Mom Mom has an active social life and will not agree to this at all I tried Actually since your daughter is capable according to you of getting good grades sitting one on one with either of you isn't going to solve the problem BTDT You can help her do her work you can't make her hand it in Nor can you make her dress for PE My oldest is very bright but pulled the not handing in homework card all the time His only saving grace was he actually did know the subject matter and could ace tests w o studying I rode him for two years Last year as a Junior I stopped Painful as it was because I knew all too well what an important year it was for him wrt college Man was that a wake up call for him His missing assignments left him with grades he wasn't proud of again saving grace was tests and weighting of AP classes But he learned a lesson So far he's showing a lot of responsibility both with the summer work he had to do and now with his regular classwork He's more serious he's more organized and he's doing his work w o my having to even mention it Best of all he thanked me for letting him learn the hard way A strategy you may want to use with your daughter is to talk to her about what her future plans and aspirations are Maybe her classes are stuff she has no interest or use for Or maybe she simply doesn't realize the importance those grades can be Once she knows where she wants to end up she may well figure out how she needs to get there Children aren't coloring books You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini Repugnant My new favorite word Find a Family Law Attorney laquo Previous Thread Next Thread raquo Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread members and guests Thread Tools Show Printable Version Email this Page Display Modes Rate This Thread Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode Rate This Thread Excellent Good Average Bad Terrible Posting Rules You may 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